We are 13 weeks old now!

It is with a very heavy heart that I type this entry today. As mentioned in the previous entry, this was going to be a busy week with things that were not cat related and as such, yesterday morning I had a very early appointment in Oxford that I had to attend. Prior to leaving, most of the babies were still asleep, some in the kitten room with the adults, others on the top of the stairs, and some downstairs. As no one was showing any intention of getting up, I didn't feed them their breakfast prior to leaving.

When I came back home at around 9am, the first thing I did was put the kettle on and prepare a tray of breakfast for the children. When I was halfway up the stairs, I noticed every single baby and some of the adults were all at the top of the stairs, none of them were in the kitten room. In fact, no one was in the kitten room at all. This started setting off alarm bells and also, everyone's behaviour was was extremely subdued. I went into the kitten room and dumped the tray on the work surface and looked around. Lying on the base of the scratch centre in the kitten room was darling Funky Monkey. I picked up her lifeless body and brought her straight downstairs to tell Graham. We were both in total shock and disbelief. The previous night she had been demanding food in her usual fashion and running up and down the stairs. Her loss just made no sense to us and we are heartbroken.

Funky Monkey was a funny little character and never hesitated in telling me when she wanted food or when she wanted cuddles. She was such a happy, lively, (extremely loud!) bright little girl and this loss has hit us incredibly hard. Even today, I still keep thinking I hear her voice and get up out of my chair to look for her before realising she is no longer here. It is times like this where I often wonder whether or not there really is any point to this. It is bad enough to lose a baby when there is a known cause, but when it is just out of the blue like this, then the shock combined with the grief is so incredibly soul destroying.

It is now over 24 hours since we lost our beautiful baby girl and the pain is as strong today as it was yesterday, however, as breeders, we have a responsibility to our cats and our babies and decisions have to be made. Both Graham and I have come to the conclusion that Toussaint will not be mated to Ashanti again. This is her 2nd litter sired by him and in her first litter, we lost one of her other babies at 12 weeks of age in a similar fashion, and now this. To us, this is saying that the 2 lines, for whatever reason do not gel. The more experience I am having with Toussaint's line, the more convinced I am becoming that there are problems back in the line and we are glad that we have not previously kept a daughter back from Toussaint for breeding. If we had have done, then we would be booking her in to be spayed. We have Toussaint's son, Tuaca, who was sired by Sheridans. Toussaint's litter to Sheridans was a fine, healthy litter, without problems. At this point in time we are currently waiting for babies from Tuaca to be born and if we encounter any problems, then Tuaca will be neutered and will not sire any more babies. He is such a massive, soppy, loving boy with an amazing temperament and this would be a shame but at the end of the day, health will always come above type. We did originally have a friend's queen booked in to be mated with Tuaca within the next few months, but that will not happen now as we can not risk passing any possible problems onto another breeder. If Tuaca is neutered, he will obviously stay in our home as yet another loveable loafer and we certainly would not be keeping any of his babies back for breeding.

As for Toussaint herself, well we do not know whether or not she will ever be mated again. If she were to be mated, it would be to a boy that we did not own ourselves, one who is a total outcross but at the moment, I don't know that we will breed from her again.

The next few days are going to be difficult as we try to come to terms with the loss of such a very special little girl and as such, we have cancelled all kitten family visits that were due this weekend. Our little angel is now at peace in Rainbow Bridge and at some point in the future, I hope and pray we will be able to remember her antics with smiles instead of intense pain.